Thomas was in his bedroom pleasing himself while watching “X-Factor”. Kelly Rowland always aroused him. She was beautiful, charismatic and quite talented. She was his favorite of the group, “Destiny’s Child”. Suddenly he heard a loud crash that appeared to have come from the living room. He jumped up to investigate the noise then was greeted by a .44 magnum to the front of his skull.
“Listen, Thomas. You move, you’re dead. You speak, you’re dead. You breathe, you’re dead. Shake your head if you understand the words I speak.” The voice commanded.
Thomas shook his head as directed.
“Why don’t you put some pants on you sick bastard.” The voice said in a disgusted tone.
Thomas obliged, but did so with a confused look on his face. He didn’t think there was anything wrong with a man pleasuring himself in the privacy of his own home.
He began to speak, then the voice jabbed him in his head harder.
“I said, you speak you’re dead! Do you feel like dying today Thomas??” The voice yelled.
Thomas shook his head and whimpered pitifully.
“Do you know why I’m here Thomas?” The voice asked.
He shook his head once more, but this time, with uncertainty; as if he was picturing all the people he had pissed off this week.
“Well, I’ll refresh your memory”, the voice paused, “did you have a fender bender recently?”
Thomas held his head down and began to sob.
“Yea, remember now? You thought you got away with it, huh?!” The voice hovered over the shrinking man.
Then there was darkness…